So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
