Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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