The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
no you cant smoke seaweed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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