i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
