Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
it's like heaven, but drunker
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
