You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
