we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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