My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
