What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Who died my cat blue again?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
