wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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