i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
im holly from the hills drunk
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
