There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Everyone says I win the strip club
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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