it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
