so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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