thus making me awesome and them whores
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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