It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize