508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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