on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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