I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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