quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
