And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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