I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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