how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
