their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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