white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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