Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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