Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
there is another microwave in the elevator.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
