also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
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