Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
