this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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