I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
