I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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