I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Randomize
