I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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