I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
