North Korea, Best Korea!
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
