You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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