i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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