I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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