Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
