i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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