There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
