did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
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