North Korea, Best Korea!
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize