i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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