i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
