I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
my poor anus
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
