I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i think i just lost a toe
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
