I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize