And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
