I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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