why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
