addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
organizing the empties. That sober.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
