The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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