You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She just used a chaser for red wine.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
