You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
