I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
home. puking in laundry basket.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Shame is for Republicans.
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