Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
