I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
